


Inner Fire

by boys_in (kaleidosphere)



Series: Yurileth Week 2020 [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Fluff, M/M, Male My Unit | Byleth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidosphere/pseuds/boys_in
Summary: "Teach me how to smile."
Relationships: Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc & My Unit | Byleth, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Yurileth Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746655
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	Inner Fire

**Author's Note:**

> For [Yurileth Week 2020,](https://twitter.com/yurilethweek/status/1239992923112067072) the prompt used is  smiles.  Enjoy!

"Help me."

Yuri turns around and stares, really _stares,_ before he realizes it's Byleth. And maybe because he's in Abyss right now—maybe because he's in the corner of the classroom where all the stuff is piled up—but he doesn't anticipate this day to come. That Byleth would walk into _his_ home, and make him feel uncomfortable in his own skin.

Of course, no one has actually _seen_ Byleth since Jeralt died. It's been a little over a week and the only reassurance that the professor is even still around comes from Rhea, who knocks on Byleth's door for the occasional sign of life.

Yuri is holding a book. No, Yuri _drops_ the book, but isn't frenzied by the act. Instead, he walks towards Byleth, careful not to let his body betray any confused thoughts, and nods accordingly. "What do you need, friend?"

Friend. Because he could really use a friend now, all things considered. Yuri likes to throw words around fast and loose, so everyone in the monastery is his "friend," but only few are regarded with the actual word's meaning: Balthus, Hapi, Constance. Of course, the house leader and all the little snot-nosed brats going along with them. And undoubtedly, Byleth.

Byleth, who hasn't been seen in over a week since his father's death. Byleth, who hasn't spoken a word to anyone except Rhea, and even then there are no words at all. Yuri is still Rhea's little messenger bird—he's asked her about Byleth on more than one occasion. She insists that Byleth is resting and hasn't the words to explain his feelings, but he knows that is a nice way of saying she doesn't know if he's even spoken to anyone.

Until now.

"I don't know," Byleth admits. He stumbles forward, and Yuri reaches out his hands cautiously, signalling that he'd catch him if he fell, but would rather things not get to that point. "I just—I feel. I feel _lost._ And I don't know why I came here, specifically." He glances from Yuri's image (white, purple, gray) to the writings on the blackboard (white and black _only)_ and feels a strange sense of homesickness. Like he's been traveling for years and misses his home. "This doesn't make sense."

"That's what I've been saying since the first lecture," Yuri jokes, or attempts to. "Do you want to talk about this somewhere else?"

Byleth blinks. "Like where?"

And _that_ is a damn good question. There is no privacy in Abyss, as all the little areas are cluttered together, and residents sleep in shared rooms and houses. Some of them are luckier and are situated further out into the town, where there is less noise but the same amount of perfidy. While others, like the Ashen Wolves, for instance, are paired together in dorms, four people to a single room. It would be five or six, but too many accidents have been caused by people trampling each other to get to the door.

The monastery isn't any less public, either. Though not pressed for space like Abyss, there are students and faculty members all over the place. Solace can only be found in dorm rooms, and even then, Seteth and the night watch are strict about students sleeping over. Why else would they give the kids single beds, and not double ones?

 _Hasn't stopped me,_ Past Sylvain echoes in his mind. What a tool.

Yuri knows for a fact that Claude's bed is pretty big, too. But unlike Sylvain, it's for all the books and weird shit he keeps to himself. Pretty sure of it.

"Your room, maybe?" Yuri knows how that sounds, like he's trying to court the professor. And it's a valid attempt, as most students want to do with their teachers (well, if their teacher is _Byleth,_ then yeah, it checks out), but unlike the other kids Yuri is old enough to have immense power balanced with someone in Byleth's position. If anything, a dalliance with _Yuri_ is dangerous for _Byleth._

So he doesn't worry over his phrasing for now, and Byleth, too sad or too dazed to care, simply nods. "Okay."

They are halfway through the secret entrance to Abyss when Yuri wonders how Byleth got here in the first place. He is the monastery's most wanted man, not for punishment but for reconciliation by all the students and staff. Everyone loves Byleth—everyone respects them for their combat prowess and their hard work. There is not one single person that wouldn't want to comfort him in his time of need.

So for the professor to get so far without being noticed is rather strange. Yuri would have to ask him about his stealth technique later.

"Everyone knows that the entrance to Abyss is by your room, right?" Yuri dares to make conversation—he feels that the silence is too suffocating.

Apparently, Byleth agrees as he nods listlessly. "They know. I think they have been avoiding it, though."

 _So they don't disturb you,_ Yuri thinks. There is a shifty merchant/guard posted there, who sells dimwitted students overpriced goods while also heralding the entrance to the hidden Abyss. Only a select few students know about it—those that went through the Aelfric madness, plus some trusted others—so it isn't as if it's a busy spot. But knowing how close it is to Byleth's inner sanctum, those four measly walls that could come crashing down at any time, the students have been respectful.

When they emerge from the underground, the shifty merchant is fast asleep in his little hovel. Yuri wonders how he evades Seteth's harsh command.

"Here we are," Yuri announces as they stand outside of Byleth's door. It's late at night, so they don't really run the risk of being noticed, but something about the adjacent rooms tells Yuri that they wouldn't _dare_ come close to Byleth's domain, anyway. "After you."

Byleth nods and pushes the doors open. There are candles inside, still burning, which tells Yuri that Byleth has been up for a while now. The room is well-lit and lived-in; it's been months since Byleth has started teaching. A giant calendar rests on the wall next to the desk, and a trunk full of clothing is half-open on the side. Yuri spots a pair of red glasses and thinks. He's never seen him with glasses before.

"It is a mess." Byleth tries to sound cordial, as if his father _wasn't_ brutally stabbed by a murderous young woman weeks prior—as if his dorm should have been impeccably clean to start with. "Sorry. I don't know—"

"You don't have to know," Yuri insists. "Whatever you're going through, that's yours to endure. So you don't have to make up some excuse for me. Not knowing is enough."

Byleth blinks. If he understands Yuri's intent, he doesn't show it, but simply nods as he sits on his bed. "I need your help, Yuri."

"You mentioned that," he agrees. Yuri stands politely near the desk, not wanting to encroach on Byleth's space. The professor doesn't offer the spot next to him, so Yuri continues to speak. "What exactly did you need help with?"

"Teach me how to smile."

What?

Yuri tries to think, but nothing has prepared him for this moment in time. He jokes with Byleth sometimes about his stern demeanor, but he knows better than to assume the man lacks emotions.

He was witness to him crying his eyes out not too long ago. He understands just how deeply his emotions run.

"I'm not sure I can teach you something you already know," Yuri says delicately. "Unless you mean something else by that."

"I know...that this is not expected of me." Byleth draws his knees up, reminding Yuri that for once, he is dressed down. Lacking armor of all kinds, the professor is only fitted in sleek black clothing, with the usual pink accents here and there. He is someone dressed for bed, and Yuri can only imagine what sort of restlessness he'd been facing up until now. "I know everyone is waiting for me. And I, I want to see them, too."

Yuri tries not to sound too hopeful. "Well, it's Pegasus Moon now and no one's seen you since then. I know that classes were cancelled for a while and they might start up again soon. Are you saying you're ready to get back to teaching?"

"Yes," Byleth mutters. "I don't—they'll fall behind. _You'll_ fall behind in your trickster exams."

"As if I need some piece of paper telling me what I can and can't do," Yuri groans. His tone is not his usual strength, however. He cuts back on the acidity of his words. "So, you want to face them, but you won't?"

"I _can't,"_ Byleth corrects. "Not like this." He gestures to his face, but there are no tears. In fact, there is no evidence of his sadness, except for the slight downward angle of his lips. If anything, the neutral expression is a lot like the Ashen Demon—the person Byleth had been _before_ Garreg Mach, the soulless mercenary he was accused of being his whole life.

Yuri grinds his teeth. He hates the blue color that defines Byleth's appearance—hates the way it looks like the sea, the sky, the heavens with their constellations in them. It's too pretty and highly unflattering for a guy like him. It makes Yuri want to reach out, and get lost in the color, until his shades of purple are all gone. Until the bruises in his eyes and in his head have healed.

Yet he doesn't deny him, and rather, he takes up his cause. "I just told you that it's okay to feel whatever it is you need to feel about this. I'm not sure that forcing on a smile is the way to go."

"...Truly?"

"Truly."

"I've been told my smile makes my face more agreeable."

If the situation were different, Yuri would have laughed. Instead, he nods once. "That's true for anyone. Are you worried that we'll think you're weird if you're not _smiling_ at us? You've gone through a terrible loss. No one would hold it against you if you couldn't keep up appearances."

Byleth curls up on his bed, which is small despite his station, blankets threadbare as he pulls them over his knees. "I guess...it was a mistake to bother you."

"No bother at all," Yuri says. He doesn't puncture his personal space quite yet, though he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to sit at his side and comfort him now. "I can't teach you how to smile or lie, y'know. Those are self-taught techniques by far. What I _can_ do is keep you up to speed with those of us in Abyss. Everyone's asking about you."

To this, Byleth perks up, though his version of 'perking up' is to frown slightly _less._ "Everyone?"

"The barkeep misses his favorite customer," Yuri snorts. "And those kids by the scrap heap keep wondering when 'that cool guy with the sword' will come back." He notices a curious expression forming on Byleth's face, and quickly intervenes with: "I've already asked them. They're not referring to me by any means."

"Huh." Byleth wraps his arms around his knees, and grows silent.

Yuri takes it as his cue to keep going. "They're idiots, the lot of 'em. I told them not to hold their breath, that you'd be ready to see them when you're ready."

"Are the others—"

"Balthus won't stop talking you up," Yuri sighs. "Somehow manages to drop your name in just about every conversation. Even in ones that don't necessarily need you in them."

Byleth makes a noise that sounds halfway like a laugh, but not quite. "That does sound like him."

"Don't even get me _started_ with Constance."

He draws his brows in a curious way, making Yuri wonder whatever he could be thinking, only to witness him open his mouth and say: "She's a real shady lady, right?"

It takes every ounce of willpower on Yuri's end to not react to this, to a small detail in a passing conversation he's had with Byleth about Constance's ever-changing demeanor. Shady Lady is said with the highest affection possible, of course, but to hear those words out of Byleth's mouth gives them a different meaning.

"If she hears you say that sort of thing, I doubt she'll be anything short of devastated."

"...Should I refrain from saying it, then?"

Yuri snickers, and stands up straight. "No way. Tell her at first opportunity."

The halfway smile goes full on Byleth's face for the first time in a long time, and he buries the best of it into his arms. "Alright. I'll keep that in mind."

/

/

Two weeks later, and Byleth emerges from his dorm room. It is a world filled with sympathetic looks and hesitant smiles—he is a fragile object put on display, and they fear a single word or gesture can displace him to breaking. He takes them all in stride, but even after resting for so long, seeing their faces takes a greater toll on him than he realizes.

By the time he gets to Abyss, his facade is completely ruined. Constance doesn't even have it in her to chide him like she usually does. Thankfully, Balthus is more forgiving (though his talk of revenge isn't as comforting as it should be) about the matter, and Hapi is understanding.

Byleth hesitates before seeing Yuri.

When he walks into that classroom, it's as if Yuri is seeing him for the first time. The way his brows are drawn and his voice is hushed, it's as if the night they spent talking to each other never happened. Byleth doesn't hate that sort of secular thinking, though. If anything, he welcomes it.

Yuri says the usual thing—of course, it's in his voice, his soft voice that can curl up like a black cat, or can rise in columns like smoke. Acerbic.

Then he runs his hands over Byleth's knuckles in a soft, smooth motion that will soon be forgotten, but is sustained in the intensity of his eyes. Pretty purple feathers, fallen from their plume.

"But know that your inner fire will keep you moving ahead through even the hardest times."

And Byleth agrees, but it's strange to think that his inner fire has moved outwardly since he last checked.

Yuri's hands are so warm.


End file.
